So I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and have decided that I’m really taking the wrong attitude about this whole baby thing.
Yes, it’s a horrible experience physically and I hate it. But I am, as has been typical, concentrating on only the negative. The apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:8 — "…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." This is clearly an excellent policy in general, and not one I have been adopting in this situation. I’ve been so caught up in my own misery and fear about the negative side of baby-bearing that I continually push aside the reality that it is in fact (and especially for one such as I who has severe endometriosis) a real blessing to be having a child. A huge responsibility and big life change, but also a huge blessing, especially given that she is jointly the child of someone I adore.
So yes. I decided I really need to adjust my attitude. And just remind myself, when I start becoming resentful and afraid as is typical, that I don’t have to be a mother like everyone else 
Anyway, I realized that I’m slightly at a disadvantage here, because due to circumstances (me being in a foreign country until the baby is born and only about a month after that and then moving again very far away), I am missing out on some of the fun that other mothers-to-be have — that is, buying stuff for the kid to come and planning it all out.
Don’t get me wrong. I am delighted to not be overwhelmed with baby showers and parties where people talk about sweet little dresses and booties (especially since I am having a girl!) and diaper training methods and whatever else people talk about at those things. Absolutely dancing in the street delighted. But at the same time, it must be kind of fun to wander around and shop for stuff for the baby. I hate clothes shopping, but I always liked buying housewares and cooking things and what not. Go figure.
And don’t get me wrong again — it drives me nuts when mothers go all crazy and start wallpapering and stressing out because the nursery isn’t just right and squalling over paint-matching and buying darling little throw blankets and ugly ruffled dresses. But still — buying stuff can be fun. But of course, I can’t buy anything, because I’m not going to be living here much longer, and I can’t have all this stuff to schlepp around. Honestly. I was just going to have the kid sleep on the spare bed.
Anyway — you know what? This post is too long. And my spaghetti is getting cold. The Photographic Domestic Journey will have to continue in another post a bit later…
I reckon
There is one word in this verse…
“Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:11)
… that I particularly like for some reason…
reckon
Maybe it is because I used to reply “I reckon” when an agreeing response was appropriate.
Dictionary gives me the flavours of reckon…
Expect, believe, or suppose
Judge to be probable
Deem to be
Have faith or confidence in
Consider
Regard
Suppose
View
To change my attitude, I change the way I think about something… change away from something not so good to something better. So what does that sound like? Maybe the dictionary definition should have “repent” added to the list.
How come it sounds so easy? Because it generally is. The hard bit is to stay the course.
There endith the lesson to myself!