So I’ve been in Paris 2 days now. leaving tomorrow morning early (in fact I hope I can make it to Gare de l’Est by the time my train leaves!) The weather holds absoltely gorgeous — it’s cooler here in paris than it was in Zurich which is actually kind of nice. Zurich was hot. Paris actually reminds me of nowhere so much as NYC – the same constant activity, dirtiness, noise, etc. Of course, all big cities have dirtiness, noise, etc, but Paris specifically reminds me of NYC more than anything else. Don’t know exactly why. There are a lot of beautiful buildings etc to look at but I find it rather exhausting. Haven’t even taken that many photos. 

So my sister’s flat is approximately the size of an average bedroom. It is actually smaller than

mrtee

’s barbieland, and costs about twice as much! Nuts. But it is high up, and has huge windows and lots of light, and is secluded, and reasonably quiet (depends on your definition).  Unfortunately the apartment next door burned down last week due to a electrical fault and someone died. So my sister is feeling a bit paranoid now. The smell of scorched electrical is pretty horrible, but hopefully it will go away soon. 

Yesterday we used the velib’, which is basically a system where there are bikes parked all over Paris and you rent them for an hour or so and put them back at any other velib’ station. It was pretty fun, though we absolutely did everything you are not supposed to do with a velib’ — kept them too long, took them out of Paris, drove on the pedestrian footpath, drove the wrong way up streets and around roundabouts, went off-roading, jumped them off curbs… it was a very entertaining experience! We got horribly lost in the Bois de Vincennes but found our way out eventually. 

Today we just went to the Bois de Boulogne with a picnic. We lay around for a long time in the sun, then took a liesurely walk around the Lac Inferieur. We desperately had to pee to the point where we were about to plunge into the (nettle-filled) forest and pee behind a tree,but were so startled when we ran into a prostitute on the very path we wished to pee next to, that we didn’t. We were a bit taken aback because there area we were in was super posh and the prostitute just didn’t fit in. I forgot to take pictures there too, except of a very cute and aggressive duckling. Now my sister is at a doc appt so I am sitting here with the dirtiest feet ever (I am still hiking and biking in the same platform sandals!) and eating creme caramel out of a jar. Looking forward to heading back to Zurich tomorrow. I am sad that our trip is half over already!  

Arrived. Exhausted. Nice sunny day.

SWISS BREAD AND BUTTER MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I’m really happy to be back here again. If only I could speak German!

Not that it would do me much good with all the Switzerdütsch (or however you spell it). Demented, really.

So when we climbed Barney last month, I hurt my toe and it got infected. I ignored it for a couple weeks, hoping it would go away, but it didn’t, and I was worried about hiking/biking in Switzerland b/c I couldn’t wear shoes it hurt so much, so I broke down and went to the doc. He prescribed these vile antibiotics which turn my stomach to liquid acid. I hate antibiotics. The cure is always almost as bad as the disease. Anyway, I think the antibiotics killed off everything good in me because now I’ve been struck down with a vile disease and my throat has swollen to twice the size of my head.

Anyway, yesterday I thought that since I was feeling so ill and miserable, it would be okay to take a bath take a relaxing bath (I always feel guilty due to the water restrictions here) and do a revitalizing cucumber facial mask at the same time. Here is what the instructions say. “Take the pulp of a fresh cucumber and pat it all over face, let sit for 20 minutes…”

You know how in movies, comic books, magazines, etc. etc. they always show these women taking relaxing baths? You know the kind. There are aromatherapy candles on the side of the tub, the woman’s perfect hair is arranged in artful curls on the top of her head, the bath is lovely and big and filled with artistic bubbles, and afterwards the woman dries herself in a lusciously thick fluffy white towel and giant fluffy slippers and then wraps up in some kind of attractive silken bathrobe. And if she is doing a facial mask it is inevitably bright green and stays in one place (that is, on her face).

Here is the Kirilisa version:
Obtain cucumber, chop into chunks for ease of food processing. Turn away for a few minutes: return to find that husband has devoured all of cucumber except one chunk. Scold husband: food process rest of cucumber with skin on, as unsure as to whether skin should be taken off first (nutrients are in skin? right?). Place mashed up cucumber into teacup: arm self with book and small hand towel and retire to bathroom. Climb into hot bath which, due to sub-standard bathtub length/width/depth, is only approximately hip deep. Realize there is no way that cucumber will stay on face unless self is lying down: contort legs/back/neck in attempt to lie down in tiny bathtub. Try to rest head on side of bathtub; knock shampoo bottles etc. etc. onto floor. Once lying, realize that cucumber (and hand towel, and book) are far above on counter top. Manage to grab cup of cucumber without moving from contorted position: dump cucumber on face. Cucumber promptly slides off face into water. Put on more cucumber, very carefully, trying to mash it down so it will stick, with dubious effect. Result is some parts of face (e.g. cheeks) have no cucumber: other parts (upper lip, mouth) have lots. It’s a good thing I like cucumber. Cucumber juice leaks into eyes where it stings painfully. Cannot open eyes at all: desperately & blindly balance cup precariously on side of tub in order to rub my eyes, which makes the stinging worse. Whole face is beginning to sting at this point too. How am I going to manage 20 minutes? After some more rubbing and splashing of water into eyes (during which more cucumber bits cascade down into bath water) I can finally see again albeit blearily: now realize that book is still far above on countertop. Reach up, trying not to disturb position of head; paw around till find book, making wet cucumbery fingerprints all over pages. 10 minutes of agonized reading later, can’t bear stinging on face and tears are pouring out of eyes: sit up, carefully try to scrape cucumber back into cup: most falls in bath water.  After washing face properly, decide to shave legs: sit up on side of tub. Side of tub is far too narrow and slippery for sitting: naked rear skids suddenly off side of tub into water, sending cascade of water and cucumbers over floor and bath mat. When I finally climb out of tub, shivering in QLD-winter-unheated-bathroom air, realize that have not planned ahead towel-wise, and must dry off self with tiny damp hand towel.

So much for relaxing bath.

I will be 30 years old this Thursday and am no closer to achieving graceful womanhood than I was at 9.